The Dream I woke up from...
Last night I lay awake in my bed and saw it.
Saw that I had been dreaming all the time.
A beautifui and sorrowing dream at the same time.
I lay there, mouming over the dream I've lost, the deep state of slumber I was awakened from.
I had been happy.
The pain felt like piercing my heart, but I had been joyful.
My eyes are burning now, I feel like crying.
A shiver crawls over my skin, making me want to be near you again.
Feeling you at my side, breathing slowly in your sleep and looking as peacefull as in death.
Wanting to lie besides you again, barely touching your hair with my fingers, feeling the weight of your body at my side.
The warmness of you all over my body.
Your soft breath in my silent face, when I felt like stopping to breathe and laying there awake...
forever.
I want to let my feelings rush out of me, I can feel my emotions materialize and wander over my body like a wave, a wave that wanders over me many times and can't get out of me.
I feel it in my arms, over my back and up to my head, like a gush of cold water,
It cooles me from inside, it should leak out of me, but it stays inside.
I can't cry.
I won't cry again, since it can't take the cold from me.
Why do I feel like freezing?
What happened to me?
I mourn over my lost dream.
A dream that started so suddenly.
I've never been dreaming like that before, even if my life has been full of dreams.
The first moment I saw you I've been falling into another worid.
It was a sweet Illusion, making me feel more confident than ever before.
You gave me a look that shocked me.
I was frozen.
I left, and felt myself blushing.
Heat rising into my cheeks, making me wonder.
Why did I feel like burning?
What happened to me?
From that moment on, the dream had captured me.
You had captured me.
You don't know it, but your charisma is around you like a strong aura.
Maybe some people don't see it, but I saw it.
It was the first time I saw something like that.
I was looking closer at you, thinking that my eyes were faking me, but I was wrong it is your look. '
In your beautifui, deep eyes.
I looked at you, laughing and crying, and it moved my heart.
Seeing you sitting and Standing in pain made me feel sad.
Touching you made me happy.
I looked at you, walking before me, and asked mvself
Why?
Why could I look at you forever?
Only look how you're moving, the way you're walking?
Barely touching you sometimes and feeling away from the rest of the world
That was how I felt then.
Complete, whole and seperate from everything.
Maybe it could be seen in my face.
I don't know.
You are beautifui to me.
I know you don't like yourself, but ifs not the outer shell I
mean.
You are beautifui inside.
The You from inside is shining out trough your eyes
It can be seen sometimes in the look on your face. Not always, but sometimes ifs there
I bet you yourself don't notice it.
If you could only see what I saw...
Whenever I was looking at you, I thought how wounderful it would be to have you by my side.
I couldn't stop looking at you, at your face, your hair, the rest of you.
I was longing to touch you.
I was carefui, trying not to go on your nerves.
I touched you whenever I found the courage and when you let me
I caressed you softly, touching your hair and taking your looks inside me.
Trying to memorize you and not forget what I saw.
My hands moved over your body, over your neck, your shoulders and your back
I was stroking you slowly, wanting to make you feel comfortable.
That you liked it made me happy.
I have so much tenderness to give.
I could caress you forever.
You lay in my arms and I couldn't believe my happyness.
Couldn't stop the heat rising in me.
You felt my fastening heartbeat.
It didn't ashame me, it made me comfortable.
Kissing you was precious. indescribable.
I will never forget it.
I felt the moment of my awakening comming nearer.
The pain started in me, and I knew it would become even worse.
I didn't want to awake from that short, beautiful dream of peace near you.
You were nice to me.
Helped me and understood me.
You didn't shove me away from you.
I'm still thankful.
I know that you have your weaknesses.
Everybody has them.
I can live with yours.
I can still hear your voice in my head.
See your face before me, your hands, the line of your body.
The images in my head won't stop.
I'm at home now, awake. And alone.
Why do I feel like sleeping forever?
What is still happening to me?
I think I know it now.
Maybe, I say to me, this time, my feelings and emotions won't grow weaker again.
Someday, when you are alone again, I will be awaiting.
I will be still there.
I will never forget you...
my beloved one...
