Spec Ops: The Line von abgemeldet (- Easiest way is to deny) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: ----------- It had been six months after Dubai. It had been six months of treatment for Lugo. Six months of replaying every single second in this hell. But it was worth every single minute. And not just the treatment. He had moved to his sister. She had been a huge help. A great support to him. She was able to bear his screaming, she offered him a shoulder to cry and she distracted him the right time, made him laugh and helped him to fall asleep. But she was no professional after all, so he needed to see one regular. And after this session, he wished he didn't came. Every person has an own way to deal with things... Or not to deal with 'em. Lugo accepted he was mental, he accepted the help and after all, he went over the worst part. But there are also people who don't realize, who reject the fact, they are sick in some way. People like his former Captain, Martin Walker. They hadn't seen each other for the last 6 months and Lugo really wished, he would have stayed that way, when he walked out of the office of his mental doc. "Haven't seen you for a while." Lugo looked up, to look into a ghost's face. Nearly half of Walker's face was scarred, his eyes empty and his mimik emotionless. "What are you doing here?", Lugo answered. He had no idea how to react on this sudden meeting and he was fighting with himself, not to hug Walker's throat violently. Sure, he blamed him for all that has happened but on the other side, they have all seen the same. Lugo always thought of himself as not being vengeful. The jokes he always made, the self confident talking always made up some balance in his life as a delta operator. And Lugo was sure, even Walker sometimes had to smile on that shit. "What a nice way to say hello, Lugo.", Walker joked, without any emotion on his face and Lugo heard the emptyness in his voice. "Well, I don't know, if it's nice to see you, sir.", the SSgt. answered and looked back to his small sheet, with the next appointment date on . "So you really going to one of these guys here?" Walker pointed at the door and and put his hands into his pockets. Lugo just nodded and thought of an answer. "Still don't know, why you are here?", he finally said and took a moment, to look over his former CO. He was wearing just some common clothes, smelling like one of these AXE antiperspirants. His hair grew a little longer but the beard was the same as before. The huge scar marked this man and Lugo was thinking about how deep this scar might was. When he was thinking about Dubei, about Walker and Adams, he often was thinking of Walker already being dead. Just his body was moving, like a robot. "I just heard you are here, so I wanted to say hi, see what you are doing. Well, don't you think it's a waste of time?" Lugo looked into Walker's eyes again. He always thought of that icy color as of a sign for strenght now he just saw that there was nothing but cold emptyness. "No, I don't think it's a waste of time. I think it's a way to become at least a bit normal again.", Lugo defended himself. Walker just shruged. "I don't need this.", he mumbled and walked outside. Since Lugo wanted to leave anyway, he followed. "I think, you need it more than me or Adams do.", he suddenly mentioned and Walker stopped. "So you say, I'm crazy?" He had turned around and faced Lugo, who stopped, too and suddenly found himself as threatened. "I.. I suggest, you let a doc decide.", Lugo said, trying to get himself out of the situation. "I do so, too, so stop telling me what you can't proove." Lugo heard Walker's voice getting louder a up so he just nodded. It was the first time, he kinda felt frightened about this guy. "So, where are you going?" Walker changed the topic quickly and Lugo was thinking about, what he might say. But he always prefered the honest way. "My sister's. I moved there a while ago.", he said and looked at his feet, walking next to Walker. "Happy family, huh? Yeah, you always acted like a child, knowing no rules." "Ey, my behavior has nothing to do with my family. I moved there, cause she helps me. You should try, too. Look out for a girlfriend or see some relatives, too.", Lugo snapped and found himself pouting. "Nah, too much stress. They'd been like 'OMG, poor boy. Let me take care of you... blah blah blah." Lugo sighed and looked into Walker's face again. Still there was really nothing. "Might help you, since you still are playing the tough guy. But we all know, that's a load of shit." "What do you mean playing?" "What I just said.", Lugo started "I don't know, what exactly goes on in your mind, but I know, it's not normal. You not always have been like this.-" "People change.", Walker interrupted him. "Sure they do, but only people with mental issues won't listen to reason. You died in Dubai, Cap. You died back there, with all those civilians, you have killed. I might say, it's only fair, but I can't. I don't want this to happen to anybody I know, neither friend nor foe. It's just horrible and-" Again Walker interrupted him. His hands grabed for Lugo's jacket and he pushed him against the building's wall, they just had left. "I'm not crazy and I'm not to blame for what has happened back there! It wasn't my intention!" He slamed Lugo against the wall that hard, the air was pushed out of his lungs. Lugo needed a second to react and found back his voice soon. "But still you did it! You killed these people with this fucking White Phosphorus and you shot them after they hung me! You just didn't listen to reason and left, when Adams and I said so! We had no idea, what was keeping you there but at some point we just gave up trying! You are responsible for everything that has happened there and your way to deny it is the best proove to say you're mental, CAPTAIN!" At this point some people had already watched them. They stopped and looked over to Walker and Lugo. But none of them came closer. Suddenly there WAS an emotion in Walker's face and Lugo defined it as wrath. Next thing he felt was Walker's fist in his face. He let go of Lugo and took a step back. "I'm fucking fine! You hear me!? I! AM! FINE! Just get out of my fucking sight and stop talking like you would know better than I do! You have no idea how I deal with this kind of things!" Lugo swallowed and wiped his cheek. Wasn't bleeding but hurting like hell. He looked up to Walker and shortly bit his lower lip before he started talking again. "Oh, I know how you deal with it, Walker. I know exactly. You just deny! The fact you are to blame! The fact that you were just fooling around back there! The fact that everything is on you! These people back there.. Their blood, my blood and Adam's blood is just on you! Only you!" Slowly Lugo got up again. He took a deep breath before he suddenly tackled Walker down and kneed on his chest. Walker's head smashed against the cold hard stone floor and he gave a short sound of pain. "You turned us into murderers! Fucking wake up Walker!! Wake up and let people bring you back into the real world!" People standing around them couldn't deal with the things, Lugo said. They didn't understand what he was talking about but it was just nature, the only heard 'murderers', 'blood' and 'kill'. Some of them came closer, when they saw, Walker was bleeding. And Lugo looked up like a wolf from his dead deer. "Stand the fuck back!", he yelled at them and they froze. He saw some pulling out their phones, but he didn't realize it. When he looked back into Walker's face, his eyes widened. As were Walker's. The next second, Lugo let go of him, jumped up and was disgusted by what he had just done. "I... I'm sorry.. I didn't... Cap, it's not... ", he mumbled and looked from his hands again into Walker's eyes. Two of the people slowly pulled him up so he was sitting. He just let it happen, more in thoughts than ever. He looked up to Lugo who wasn't able to deal with the situation. "My fault...?", he whispered. "But... I never meant to hurt.. anybody. I... just.." His voice was shaking. His eyes were red like he was about to cry. "I just wanted to.. help. To do.. what's right.. Lugo. All these peoples' blood... on my hands... " He looked at them and the moment he blinked they were red and wet. The blood was driping from 'em and he looked around. People were screaming at him. Their faces were burned and only skulls were left. Still their voices teared the rest of his soul apart. "Stop it! Make it stop! Please! I didn't want it to end this way! I never wanted to kill these people!" He bowed forward, pressing his head against the naked floor. Lugo watched him shaking and regrets nearly made him throw up. He came a little closer again, kneed naxt to Walker and hesitated to put one hand on Walker's back. "I'm sorry.. I didn't-.." "Don't tell me, you're sorry... I know you're not. I know what you say is true. I know what I have done. " Lugo was shocked. It seemed, that for a moment, his head was clear again. And the next moment, Lugo damned himself for it. Walker was better, as long as his mind was rejecting what was really going on. Now he was clear again and it was killing him. "You need help, Cap.", he said and Walker looked up. "Do I?" Lugo nodded but he saw, that there was no way. He was afraid, the next moment Walker would be alone, he'd give himself the shot. - A few days later, there was no news about any suicide. He would have heard if Walker really would have comitted that. He was glad Walker didn't and he also felt bad for the same thing. I really wished for the man to finally find some peace, but things were completely fucked up now. This man would never ever calm down again. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)