Even if my mind wants it... von Oujiou (...my heart doesn't allow it) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: 'Getting stabbed' and her first visitor -------------------------------------------------- Hello minna-san! This of course, is the first chapter to my very first Shugo Chara ff! :D But anyways: I hope you enjoy! Here comes the first chapter :D. __________________________________ 'Getting stabbed' and her first visitor. Girl POV … A pink haired girl sat on a bed. She really couldn’t call it her bed, it could be changed anytime. Her hair wasn’t really long, and not really short. It was bond in 2 ponytails with 2 x-hairclips. Her eyes, golden, checked the room. It was white, everything of it: The blanket, the ceiling, the floor – everything. She stood up slowly and went to the window. She looked out. Out there, she could see a big building. It was the second building of the hospital she was in. The hospital was big, had three main buildings and everyone called it EASTER-H. She sighed. It would be soon time. She turned around and looked at the clock. It read 1:57pm. In 3 minutes they’ll come again. Lost in her thoughts, 3 minutes went fast by. Her thoughts of ‘getting stabbed’ again. It hurt. Every time THEY did it, it hurt much. It always felt like her heart would burst any moments. THEY tell her to bear with the pain. In some years it will be over, but the scars would never vanish. The scars of getting stabbed – the scars from this hell. “Hinamori-san, it’s time” The girl got out from her trance. She looked up, scared. In the doorway stood a nurse, waiting for the girl to come with her. She didn’t want to come. She was scared. She was frightened. She didn’t want it. She would rather die than letting them doing that with her. The nurse smiled at her. She put her hand forth for the girl to reach out for, but the girl didn’t reach out for it. She sat down on a nearby chair next to the window and began to cry. Tears went down her cheek, one after another. She couldn’t move anymore. Yet not because she was scared, it was not the only reason. It was because the symptoms are showing up again. What time was it? She looked up at the clock. It read 2:15 pm. She was shocked. 15 minutes passed after the time she would have had IT. If 15 minutes more passed, she would have died. That’s what she wanted right? She wanted to die. Leaving this hell – leaving this place – leaving all the pain behind, but now she couldn’t. Why not? What was that part inside of her, which couldn’t take it? It was not her head, not her hands, not her arms, not her legs. It was her heart. Would her parents want it, if she died? What would happen to the name Hinamori? No, that can’t happen, right? She decided now, from the bottom of her heart. She can’t die yet can she? But what happens if – “AHHHHHHH” A scream could be heard. Everybody in the hospital jumped out of their skin. Even the babies began to cry. Her heart felt like it would burst again. Her sight got blurry. … and then she passed out. The next day… ...she turned around in her sleep again. Mumbling some words about, “I don’t like it, when that happens” It didn’t matter anyways, did it? They need to do it anyways. If they wouldn’t, she would die. Turning around again, she finally opened her eyes, revealing golden orbs, looking at the ceiling. “What if –“, she began to say but was stopped in an instant. Then, suddenly she froze. It pulled. It felt like her heart pulled out of her chest. If felt like it wouldn’t want to belong to her anymore. Please, not this again…. She began to cry. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did she have a weak heart? Why didn’t she had a strong heart in the beginning? Everything was so frustrating and on top of that it pulled like hell. She tried to reach out for the nurse button, but she didn’t manage to. What could she have done? Still, tears are running down her face, sweat broke out. She couldn’t bear the pain anymore. …and she tried to scream…. “Help….. me…me…..” …which wasn’t very successful. But suddenly she saw the doctors rush in. Wanting to say something, which just ended in saying nothing, letting them doing IT again, bursting her heart. Her sight got blurry. Yet she managed to stay awake. She didn’t want to sleep yet. She slept the other day, didn’t she? So now she needs to stay awake. She still wanted to look that show on TV today, didn’t she? Closing her eyes, she only heard rusting noises. She tried to relax, like the doctors just told her… After 1 hour they finally left. The only person, who was in the room was her again. She is still lying on the bed with closed eyes. Today she finally managed it. After they DID IT, she managed to stay awake. It was the first time, in these 3 years. Wondering, how they would have heard her, as she attempted her ‘fail-scream’. She opened her eyes and looked to her left. She could see nothingness. Why was it so alone in a hospital? Weren’t here some other kids too? She felt so alone… “Ahh…You’re awake now….I suppose?” She heard a voice saying it. She froze again. It was a voice she never heard. It felt rough and yet it had a soft feeling in it. She looked at her right. Right beside her sat a boy, much older than her, looking at her with purple eyes (A/N: I’m not sure o.o’’, blue or purple eyes? Q_Q’’). He seemed to be not much older than 14. He had midnight blue hair. He looked familiar, yet she never saw him. Who was he? Why was he here? “Who are you?”, she asked. “Ah…Me? I’m Tsukiyomi Ikuto.”, he answered. “What do you want here?”, she asked. “Uhmm…can’t I be here?”, he asked. She only answered back with silence. What was that? Why didn’t she answer back? How could she anyways? She never learned to say a straight no; it didn’t matter in this case because he didn’t really bother her. She still looked at him. He was her first visitor. Her really first one. Somehow she felt happy. Tears began to shed again. “Ahh…? S-should I-i better l-leave?”, he stuttered, ready to get up. She didn’t say anything. She was so happy, but she couldn’t say ‘don’t go’. How would you feel, when you met your real first visitor for 3 years? She stood up and stopped him from leaving. She hugged his stomach (A/N: Don’t forget he’s 7 years older than her! She’s only 6 years old o.o’’). “O-nii-chan… Don’t leave me yet”, she sobbed against his shirt.   Ikuto POV “O-nii-chan… Don’t leave me yet” Sighing, he hugged her back and lay her back into bed. How could he not? A little girl was leaning against him, crying and begging him not to go? He somewhat felt like a character of some anime or manga. Giving the girl, lying on the bed, a smile, he sat back again. Watching her slowly falling into sleep, even though she tried to keep herself awake. Giggling at this he placed his hand on her forehead and whispered gentle words. “Don’t worry. You can sleep. O-nii-chan won’t let you alone.” “Promise me, plea-“, she didn’t finish the sentence. She fell asleep in an instant. It was natural for her, because of her disease she needs a lot of rest. And on top of that, she called him o-nii-chan. Unconscious he called himself o-nii-chan too. He blushed. How could he blushed because of a 6-year-old he just got to know? All because his father, the top doctor of EASTER-H just needed a helping hand for this girl and right after that he sat there and watching the girl sleep. He found interest in her. He really did. ______________________________ Well! It turned up to be short again, but don't forget: Everything begins small! Just wait up! Just step by step my chapters will be longer! At least I hope! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Oujiou Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)