Ka-chans Prosa   von KaChan
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                   Kapitel 3: Last Words [Englische Fassung]
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Last words


Moonlight .... everywhere around me moonlight ….
Everything’s pale …. Everything’s dropped in moonlight. 
The rocks under me … the waves of the sea …. 
The night black sky …. Me. 
Simply everything …. So I am sitting here … alone. 
Secluded of the world. 
Left alone …. Left alone with my pain. 
My view looks up the sea. 
This endless tape of waves never ripping off. Like my life. 
An eternal never ending circle. 
This sea is so beautiful … 
So beautiful like me … currently beautiful …  
The sea, so unpredictable … 
Unpredictable like me …. Painted by situation …. 
The sea, so black …. 
So black like me …. Black … like my soul …. 
The sea, so deep … 
So deep like me … so deep like the pain looking for me night by night ….
Night by night …. Again and again ….. eternally. 
Until I am dying …. I die?
No ….
I won’t die. I will never die …. I can’t – even if I wanted to. 
Dying – what’s that?
Death means release … Release for me …. 
Never ending freedom in a world free of fear. 
A new world …. So free and pure like death itself. 
Slowly I close my eyes. 
Yes …. What would I pay to die …. Like every living organism on this earth
… 
Every living organism …. Except me …. 
Me …. Damn to live forever. Damn to go my way forever … 
A way that couldn’t be more terrible … 
This way’s the same like my existence – a single circle …
Repeating itself again and again. It doesn’t matter whether I try to die … 
To kill by myself … or to be murdered by another one … 
I tried everything. 
But I am still here. I am not alive … and I can’t die …. 
Caught in the circle of time. Damn to suffer eternally….

Until you release me … until you smile at me releasing … so hearty … so
warm …. Like nothing I’ve seen on this world before. With delight I am
waiting for your kiss. Your arms touch my body, your face makes me smile. My
body changes. Becomes to stone under your presens. You are the only witness of
my death – my release. Thanks you … I am free …. 
Dear red sky ….

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